Now my heart's so sore that it hurts to write. It hurts to acknowledge the feelings that I'm trying to hide from, and it hurts to think about you. And my heart's broken, but it's never your fault. It was never working right in the first place. We never could have worked out.





I'm sick of waiting, hoping something will change
But the air is so still, and everything else so still
Its been a long cold night thinking about the way it was
I wish I told you how it felt
Darling every time I think I'm one step closer, you seem so far away
Don't know how to reach out to you, when you keep moving away
This is the last chance to make it right, this is the last chance before I go


After so many years, I thought you were true. I thought you were real. Yea, there were minor things you should be upset about. But saying things about me when you know the full story? Okay I shouldn't jump to conclusions so quickly, but then again.... Sigh.
I should learn how to stop trusting people. Even after x years of friendship / relationship, don't give your 100% trust to that someone. You'll never know when you'll get stabbed. 知人知面不知心。A very good reason to why I don't really wanna have too many close friends, or don't have much friends. Oh well. I live for myself. Say what you want, think what you want. I know the truth myself, and that's enough.

I notice everything. And by everything, I literally mean everything. I notice when someone stops hitting me up like they used to. I notice when the way someone talks to me starts changing. I notice the little things that people do, and the little things they used to do. I notice when things change, and when it’s no longer the same. I notice every single little detail. I just don’t say anything.


So how much do I really mean to you, after all these years?