You're in the car with a beautiful boy, someone unfathomable. As his eyes focuses on the road in front, you sit beside looking at him, with endless questions burning in you, fighting the urge to tell him how you actually feel. You study him, every inch of him, casually talking to him as your eyes wander. You heave a loud sigh as it hits you - that you can't understand what is going through his mind, what is behind his smile, what does his words mean. You turn your head, staring out of the window, thinking when will you ever start to understand this man. He reaches out and touches your arm, sending a tingle down your spine. You look at him in bewilderment, wondering what is this guy up to. He does nothing, but just holds your arm while driving slowly. Ah, one of the slowest moments with him.

You wonder if he is still angry with you because of the small argument both of you had the night before, he still seems angry. Cautiously, you tries to ask. You got silence as your answer. You are confused, you have no idea what is on his mind. All he said was, "I didn't have a good sleep last night, too." He continues holding your arm, keeping silent. Your lips curls up, you're trying your very best to hide the smile. You are happy and confused at the same time. Happy because you figured that he might be affected over the argument, confused because you can't confirm that assumption of yours. The journey home continues, slow and silent, yet comfortable at the same time. You continue trying to figure out everything, as you doze off unknowingly.
"Hey, we're home." He calls out gently, twice. Sitting in his seat, just looking at me with a loving smile on his face. "Come, I'll bring you up." You look at him, slowing grabbing your stuff and getting out of the car. The question surfaces from the back of your mind, "What will I do when he leaves?"

You watch as he lies down on your bed, you carry on doing what you need to do before laying beside him on the bed. His arms wrapped around you, with your back facing him. At that moment, you felt safe and happy. Scared, too. You feel him breathing at the back of your neck, you feel him lightly biting your shoulders. Fighting back the doubts, you just lay there, just holding his hand and sighing softly. He kisses your back softly and you turn around to hug him. You lay on his chest, listening to the quickened beat of his heart, looking up at him above your lashes every now and then.

The next moment, you feel him planting an ever soft kiss on your lips. He kisses your neck, and then licking your neck with the tip of his tongue. He was on top of you, looking at you. "I could stare at him forever," you thought in your mind holding his face with your hands. The question in your mind, of him leaving, stays. You broke the silence, you can't help but to ask what will happen to you when he's away. All he did was smile. Exasperating. Kissing ever so passionately, you can't help but to look at him lovingly, wondering when can you ever stop all these mind games with him. He rests his head on your chest, you can feel his skin, his rhythmic breathing and his heartbeat. Your hands find their way through his hair, and trailing down the side of his face. You can't help but to stare at him, all you could do was to smile at him. A genuine smile. A smile, so happy that it warms yourself. His kiss - so sudden, startlingly, and felt so different from any others you had.
"I need to go." He says, still on top of you. "No," and you hold him tightly. He doesn't leave. He stayed where he was, and you kiss him.

All that was on your mind, "This man is with me now and I have to cherish every single moment with him before he leaves because I have absolutely no idea when will I get a next intimate moment like this with him again..." You love every single moment with him, be it long or short. Though questions never seem to leave your mind, but you fight them off. He gets up to get dressed, and he makes his way slowly to the door. Your heart aches and craves for him to stay. "He has already stayed longer than expected. He has already surprised you more than he usually does." An inner voice scolded me. You watch him leave, while you're left there alone. And you carry on hanging there, by the thread.

Your steps lighten as you reminisce whatever happened minutes ago, laying on your bed, as you put your arms over your eyes. Flashbacks of just now. You think of the little things that could wake the kid in him. You hunger for more, but also learned how to be contented with that lot you had. It just keeps you wanting, and looking forward to the next meet up. Painfully slow and torturous long wait. Along the way, you learnt how to be patient when dealing this man even though you were still hanging.

At times when you want to just throw in the towel, there would be something about him or something that he would do to just magically stop you. Like as if he's able to read you, it's like as if he knew how you felt. It's like, even if we don't say it, we would know. "No, I don't really know, when it comes to him." Your inner voice calls out almost immediately. Your hopes dropped significantly. Oh, what should I do with you, or without you?