So much to say, but no idea where to start. No idea how to start.

All I need is 20 seconds of courage to spill whatever I wanna say. But each time I find the courage to do so, something just takes it away. No idea if it's because of your actions/words, or if it's because I just wanna wait some more. There'll be times when I cannot take it anymore and I just wanna shout out whatever I wanna say, but there'll be times when I tell myself it's okay I don't wanna say anything. Just in case... I just wanna be more certain of what I feel and what I think you feel. It's getting tougher. It's getting more difficult to handle. Because it is staring to bother me so much, it's eating me. Need to control. Fucking control.


Okay enough of emotional shit. My head is feeling a little giddy since that day. Not sure if it's because I knocked my head or because I haven't been eating and sleeping well. Sucks.
My mood hasn't been exactly good ever since you left. And this is really bad.

Gonna finish up the oranges my Mum cut for me, shower and climb into bed, hide under my sheets and think about everything possible.
FYP results are coming out tomorrow. Hopefully everything will turn out well. No idea when's IPP results releasing. A part of me hope it's tomorrow, a part of me doesn't. Oh well.


Sometimes I don't even know why I'm afraid to lose you when you're not even mine.