I really have no idea what to do, I feel so suffocated, so trapped. Just, so lost... What am I supposed to do?  Am I supposed to please and coax both parties? I can, and I can't. No one's gonna understand. For Christ's sake, I'm barely twenty. Why must I endure such shit? I'm unhappy, but I can't express it because I need to consider her feelings. Their feelings. I don't wanna come back to such shit every single day.
I understand how she feels, I understand how they all feel. But who's gonna understand how I feel? Its fucking 4.44 of a Tuesday morning, and I'm wide awake even though I have school later, even though I have things to complete, I have FYP to worry about. But whats bothering me now? ALL THESE SHIT. I don't know how long more I can endure this, I have absolutely no fucking idea how long more.

I have so much more to say. So so so much more. Don't know how to put it into words. Don't know how to start and where to start. All I know is that I really need a fucking break from everything.